1. |
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"Here lies a being of truce, mending together and breaking apart,
A being of trust, broken apart but never to be mended, never meant a thing
A being of dejection, moping and wallowing within the confines of his insecurities, swallowing down his vices in a bottomless glass, a talentless tool, a story with no abscence of sheer disarray
Rest in peace"
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2. |
Strip Me of My Joy
04:19
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(i'm not happy)
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3. |
Sound of Schizophrenia
05:25
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4. |
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5. |
Are You Winning, God?
04:52
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You were all I wanted
You were all I sought
My emotions got the best of me
I can't believe I lost
I wanted to be happy
I wanted to be with you
But I can't live freely
I always fucking lose
I wish you touched me slower
I wish you played with my hair
I wish to God you fucking smile
I did when I was there
Now I'm fucking empty
I can't feel a thing
Are you winning?
Are you winning?
Are you winning?
Are you winning?
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6. |
Fading Lamps // Hands
02:33
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I have begun
To understand
The innocence lost in man
Our blood seeping
In promised land
Buried by trembling hands
The seas have cast their stones ashore
In picture perfect eidolon
Holding near a fabled dream
Of what will lie beyond
All is real what means to us
Our garrish steps through warmer sands
A fleeting vision left behind
Of paradise
Like fading lamps
And as I begin to blow away
Like dust within the breeze
I close my eyes and say goodbye
I can finally rest in peace
You sent
And nothing seems to make me smile
I'm broken tattered and bruised
And dispute the marks painted on my face
I can't say I was used
It was you and me
A fight we fought
With words that cut like knives
And though this is what I sought
I regret it every night
I'll always love the way we laughed
The looks given in peace
Though you didn't see my smiley eyes
Yours are stuck with me
The things we built
And I destroyed
Will always remain inside you
I wish to God could take it back
So I could remain beside you
And though it will end in grief
I'll always love your laugh
The butterflies, my comfort kisses; I wish they weren't my last.
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7. |
Am I Worth Loving...?
04:56
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I am broken and I am blind
I promised to look forward but I couldn’t help but look behind
Now they have me by the throat and they’ve pinned me down
I can’t see what’s killing me but I can hear it’s sound
My mind has always been a desolate place
It’s barren and empty but somehow has no space
And despite the hollowness within my head
My thoughts fucking race and they will until I’m dead
I don’t wish I was dead and I don’t wish to die
I just whish I had answers for why I don’t feel alive
You give me color, and believe me, you do
I just wish i didn’t strip away your hue
And when I recite my thoughts to those I love
They always tell what it should be, not what it is from what it was
I’m not good enough for my parents and I guess that’s okay
I just wish I knew if they’d be proud one day
At night when I’m staring into the abyss
My mind can’t help but to fester and reminisce.
Where did my youth go, where is my pride?
Did I really lose my vision, and will ever feel alright?
I want to be free from the chains on my feet
But they’re locked to my ankles and no one has the key
I can’t walk or move forward, I never had a chance
I was doomed from the start, and now it’s in my hands
The problem is I was broken as a kid
I never got to process the shit people did
I was forced to take on their mistakes
And learn from them as if they were ones I made
I’m a ball of anxiety, a shred of depression
It’s not something I’m proud of, but something I’m obsessed with.
I guess I just don’t know where to go from here
I’ll swallow my pride and face my fears
YOU NEVER SAW THE LOOK IN MY FACE WHEN MY MOTHER TOLD ME SHE DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE WHEN MY FATHER SAID I WAS DISGRACE YOU NVER SAW THE LOOK ON MY FACE YOU NEVER SAW THE LOOK ON MY FACE YOU NEVER SAW THE LOOK ON MY FACE
I’ll ask the question I’ve been asking since 8
I’ll confront my sadness and embrace my hate
I’ll find the answers to the question I’ve asked for years
Am I worth loving, and do I belong here?
(I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE I DONT WANT TO BE LOVED)
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8. |
No, No, No!
01:37
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9. |
What Is My Purpose?
03:42
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10. |
Disaster
05:13
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11. |
Final Days // Transition
07:34
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CØL Massachusetts
CØL is a one man project with schizophrenia, dabbling in every genre that can portray a sense of sickness and depression. Something felt every day by the artist.
CØL recommends:
...but suddenly the sun shines through the clouds
by From Another Life
Atmospheric, dark, and dreary. Perfect for a rainy day.
go to album
beautiful album by my biggest inspiration. Also be sure to check out the CØL/Comforting split.
go to album
Hertless inspired me to make music and release it. I'll be forever grateful.
go to albumIf you like CØL, you may also like:
The latest from NY’s Choongum delivers pulsing dance music with dark edges, nervous and edgy.
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Tangerine explores the outer edges of electronic music, writing songs that hum and throb, full of eerie, staticky textures.
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featured on Bandcamp Radio Feb 8, 2022
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